


Dancing with Adrenaline (Valentine’s Day)

by LOVESminki



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Boyfriends, Chani POV, Chani always thinks about Rowoon, Compliments from Rowoon to Chani, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Friendship/Love, Loneliness, M/M, POV Alternating, Rowoon is super in love with Chani, Surprise Ending, soulmate culture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:16:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22696978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LOVESminki/pseuds/LOVESminki
Summary: Valentine’s Day is a special day; the pleasant day for all lovers. But is that always how it goes?
Relationships: Kang Chanhee | Chani/Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Dancing with Adrenaline (Valentine’s Day)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads up before you read! Regular text is real time, italic text is past / flashbacks. Thank you, and enjoy!

We met in middle school.  
_Kang Chanhee sat next to the window in his classroom, watching all the students as they went about their days._  
I was new and a first year.  
_With being a new student, there wasn’t much for Chanhee to do. So all he ever did was admire._  
I often was quiet and kept to myself, not interacting much with others.  
_Words meant little to Chanhee, as none were ever spoken to him. So he always took it as the initiative to never say anything himself._

Then, I met him.  
_Feeling a tap on his shoulder that brung him out of his gaze, Chanhee was met with a new and warm face._

He approached me first, and was good at keeping conversation.  
_“Hi! You’re um, Kang Chanhee right? Haha, I read your name tag.”_  
I had never been good with talking to others but with him...  
_“I like talking with you Chanhee, we should do it more often.”_  
...he made it so easy.  
_“Ha… yeah, maybe.”_

He was kind…  
_“Chanhee, here, use my pencil.”_  
...super funny and...  
_“Chanhee, you’re laughing too hard, it wasn’t that funny!”_  
...really smart.  
_“Chanhee, anytime you need help you know who to ask. Me, of course!”_  
He was lively and bubbly, and always made the mood light.  
_“Chanhee, you seem sad… not to fret, I’m by your side. Always!”_  
We clicked when we first talked.  
_“You’re different from everyone else, Chanhee. You listen, I can count on you.”_  
Although he was a year older than me, we became best friends.  
_“You’re the best person by my side! I’m older but… promise we’ll be friends forever?”_

The next year, it was his last year.  
_Chanhee knew it would come, but each day was another reminder it would come to an end._  
We spent in memorably.  
_Spending each day with more amazement than the last, Chanhee’s negative thoughts of being abandoned slowly drifted away. With him… that’s how Chanhee was._  
When it was my last year, he graduated and moved on to high school.  
_The memories of the graduation ceremony always float back, the day Chanhee felt his eyes fill._  
I spent my last year alone, wishing he was still with me to help me along.  
_Loneliness had always been something that Chanhee was used to. But after making such an amazing best friend? The loneliness hits harder when it comes._  
I did make other friends though, and I am still grateful they were there for me.  
_Thank God some people actually cared… without them, Chanhee would’ve been stuck in a void._

But his presence still lingered on, and I only wanted to see him more.  
_Daydreaming even, Chanhee was good at that. Imagining and more or less, hoping, he could see his best friend more than ever._  
Then, it was finally my time to graduate.  
_Although accustomed to being lonely, Chanhee felt somehow thankful that the year was finally ending._

My first day of high school, I found my friends I made after he left were at the same school.  
_“Hey…! I’m glad to see you guys.” And even with the reassurance of at least some lessened loneliness…_  
But still although I had them, I would never see his face wherever I passed.  
_...Chanhee couldn’t stop himself from looking for him. Each day that went on, Chanhee’s disappointment strengthened as he never saw his best friend’s face._

It was about a week later...  
_“Chanhee, I’m truly sorry for the inconvenience, but I’m afraid I’ll have to switch you out of this class.”_  
...my classes changed.  
_“Yeah, it’s… it’s fine. Really.”_

Maybe it was a miracle, or even destiny.  
_Chanhee wasn’t too sure if he believed in the thing called destiny, or miracles even. But still, he sometimes got that little jolt of hope when he thought of the idea that he believed in forever._  
When I walked into my changed classes, I arrived to hear a voice call my name.  
_“Kang Chanhee! I can’t believe it’s you…”_

It was him.  
_Unbelievable, but… Chanhee got to see his best friend once more. His heart skyrocketed to infinity._

A bright, puppy like smile and gleaming eyes were painted on his face.  
_“Chanhee, don’t just stand around! Come sit next to me.”_  
I felt overjoyed, relieved.  
_“I… sorry! It’s just…”_  
I finally felt complete, knowing I had my best friend again.  
_“...I’m with you again.”_

The day I turned 15, he asked me to go to an amusement park with him.  
_“I know you like excitement Chanhee, so I wanted to bring you here. Is that okay?”_  
I happily agreed, spending my birthday with bliss.  
_“Of course…! I couldn’t ask for anything better.”_  
The day I turned 16, he asked me to the school dance.  
_“I hope you don’t find me weird by asking but… go to the dance with me?”_  
My heart was beating rapidly as he held me close.  
_“It’s not weird… I’d love to.”_  
The day I turned 17, he asked me to be his boyfriend.  
_“I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how I felt… can you accept how I feel?”_  
My first kiss was warm and meaningful.  
_“Yes… how can I not when I feel the same way?”_  
The day I turned 18, he asked me to wait for him until I graduated.  
_“I want nothing more than to continue being by your side… but I can’t. Can you… wait?”_  
I let tears loose as he hugged me tightly.  
_“I’ll always wait, no matter for how long.”_

_As long as it’s you, I don’t mind._

Then the day I turned 19, only a month prior to today...  
_“Kang Chanhee, I’m afraid I’m wanting to ask something really important of you...”_  
...he asked me to marry him.  
_“Yes… yes, a thousand times yes.”_  
I wasn't sure he could hear my agreement over my tears.  
_“Of course I’ll promise forever.”_

_You are forever, my forever._

On February 14th, he wanted to do something special for Valentine's Day.  
_“Chanhee… go out with me today? It’s a special day today, ya know.”_  
I knew he was trying to hide it, but he was never very good at it.  
_“What? Can’t I take my very special and beautiful fiancé out on this very day?”_  
He had a plan, to surprise me and it would go smoothly.  
_He’d always been the type to have more than a few tricks up his sleeve, so Chanhee wasn’t buying it. Still, his charm always made Chanhee give in._  
We'd have one more happy Valentine's Day before we were married, and everything would be content.  
_“Then… what are we waiting for?”_

But, as any story always is, that's not how it went.  
_“Great! Then let’s go, just you and me.”_

It wasn't supposed to go the way it did, but I guess it's obvious.  
_“Just follow and trust my lead, yeah?”_  
I don't know how the rest of the night was planned, because it was cut short.  
_“Promise, Chanhee, that I’ll give you a special day. I promise you, you won’t forget it.”_  
But knowing him, he probably went all out.  
_“And don’t guess, okay? Don’t!”_  
He always did, for me at least.  
_“Just know that… I’ve considered everything for today. Just for you.”_

He took me to the place where he asked me to date him...  
_“Haha, surprised?”_  
...the park with the swings that was placed near the bridge with the breathtaking view.  
_“Are you? Here, come see the view first.”_  
Before he had us go to the park, he wanted me to overlook the view of the bridge.  
_“Just… stand here with me for a moment.”_

I still remember how the breeze felt against me...  
_“You’re so beautiful, Chanhee.”_  
...and the sweet words he shared with me.  
_“I’m glad you promised me forever.”_  
After that, we sat on the swings. We talked.  
_“Are you happy being back here again? I know I am.”_  
It was simple, because simple was all we ever needed.  
_“Of course… I never forgot this day.”_

Everything felt so calm, and so right.  
_“I’m… so happy. That you brought me here.”_  
I felt that even though I was very young...  
_“We’re super young, you and I.”_  
...even though I had barely grown...  
_“And… I’m so small! I’ve hardly grown.”_  
...despite all that...  
_“But…”_  
...I had the biggest feeling my life would be amazing with the years to come.  
_“I never would’ve hesitated to promise forever with you.”_  
I was good.  
_“I love you, Chanhee.”_  
I was content.  
_“I love you, too…”_  
I was happy.  
_“My forever… I’ll always love you.”_

Crazy how feelings like that could change in seconds.  
_“Wow… you were never that happy with me, Chanhee.”_

Someone who wasn’t supposed to be there came.  
_“You… why are you here?”_  
I was nervous, knowing who it was made me feel that way...  
_“Why am I here?”_  
...my friend from school who felt abandoned by my ignorance.  
_“Maybe I should ask you why you left me to fend for myself, and all for him? Huh?”_  
I tried to get him to leave, telling him it wasn’t his place to interrupt.  
_“You shouldn’t be here. Look I’m sorry, about what I did but you have no right-“_  
But he was persistent, as he always was in school.  
_“Oh, that’s it? A lazy sorry?”_  
He yelled at me, and said harsh words to me.  
_“You’re a fucking joke, Chanhee! Acting all depressed and lonely without your boy toy when I was always there for you. I was there for you all the time!”_  
That’s when my fiancé got defensive, as he always was for the ones he cared for.  
_“Hey! Who are you to interrupt only to be rude? And to someone who was your friend...”_  
Even if I deserved the harsh words, he still stood up for me.  
_“Hah… you. You chose this, Chanhee?”_

Except this time, it was his mistake for doing that.  
_“You’ve never made a bigger mistake.”_

There was one key thing I wish I knew that night about the unexpected.  
_“Hey, shouldn’t we talk about this? Be rational adults-“_  
If I would’ve known about the weapon he wielded...  
_“I’m far from relational.”_  
...everything would’ve been okay.  
_And… it’s was loud._  
I felt everything grow cold, colder than the wind I felt earlier.  
_“Chanhee?”_  
I felt dread, and disbelief.  
_“Chanhee, I’m… dizzy. But… are-are you okay...?”_  
My positive thoughts from earlier changed so fast.  
_“No... Seokwoo...?”_  
After realizing what he had done, probably feeling relieved, the unexpected had left.  
_Panicked and lost, Chanhee had never felt this hopeless. As to what to do, and how to react._  
He fled, but the damage had already been done.  
_Damage had never felt more threatening._

The only thing I could do was panic.  
_What was Kang Chanhee to do in this situation?_  
Hot tears warmed my face, falling onto him.  
_If only life was like a fantasy movie… maybe then Chanhee would feel at ease. But still…_  
I sat there and watched, holding him and reassuring him everything would be fine and he would be okay.  
_Time was passing, and nothing was changing; his life was fading._  
Everything would certainly be alright.  
_Maybe in another life things would end well but… this one?_

I know now I was only trying to convince myself that.  
_Nothing would ever be okay after this._

The noise heard prior still rang in my ears...  
_A loud bang… of course it’s playing on repeat in Chanhee’s mind._  
...but all I could hear was his heartbeat begin to grow faint.  
_Slowly lowering its pace and becoming off beat. Slowing down by the second._  
He was a person with a darker complexion…  
_“Chanhee, you’re skin tone is beautiful no matter what. Look, I guess I’m just a tad darker than you...”_  
...and he began to not even look alive as he grew paler by the second.  
_“...don’t you think?”_

It didn’t take much longer until he really wasn’t.  
_And… all was eventually silent for Chanhee._

His grip on my hand, I couldn’t feel it anymore.  
_“Ha, I’m sorry if I grab your hand a lot and… if I’m too touchy.”_  
I couldn’t feel him anymore, he wasn’t moving.  
_“Don’t worry about it! Okay?”_  
He was absolutely still.  
_“It’s means… you feel for me..”_

He was gone, and I couldn’t do anything.  
_“Never lose the way your feel, alright?”_

Just like that…  
_“Hey, best friend.”_  
...my favorite person...  
_“Kim Seokwoo, I’m talking to you!”_  
...the one who cared so delicately for me...  
_“Ah! Sorry Chanhee. I’m all yours.”_  
...the only person I ever needed to get through it all…  
_“It’s all good.”_  
...was gone.  
_“Well, what’d you need?”_  
And it only took one bullet.  
_“Just… your attention.”_

So, that’s why we’re here today.  
_Chanhee always told himself he wasn’t good with words but maybe… maybe he just never had the right person to encourage him._  
Do you know what today would’ve been?  
_Maybe Chanhee always needed him. But now?_  
It would’ve been our wedding day.  
_Now he doesn’t. And…_  
He wanted to do it so soon, I decided not to stop him.  
_And Chanhee feels that, well, does he even know how he feels? Does anyone ever, after something like this?_

Today is also February 17th, a month after my birthday.  
_“Chanhee, your birthday is soon.”_  
It’s been a hard few days for all of us...  
_“Now, I’m not exactly saying to look forward to it but, well...”_  
...I’m sure.  
_“Stay optimistic for me?”_

Ah, I see some of you have already shed some tears.  
_A wet face was never something Chanhee was fond of._  
I know it’s tough, I shed many as well.  
_But that night… his overbearing feelings were ones he felt way more than the dampness of his face._  
But, we’ll be alright.  
_Is Chanhee optimistic?_  
I know he would’ve wanted us to be.  
_Who knows._  
So, today is supposed to be for him.  
_With him… Chanhee was everything at once._  
I know it’s probably the hardest thing for us to do...  
_And now, without him?_  
...but we will get through it together.  
_He just feels that one certain way before he felt true happiness._  
For him, okay?  
_Loneliness..._  
For Seokwoo.  
_...Except now maybe even emptier._

Thank you, his mom and dad.  
_Chanhee shook hard as he finally met the parents. How could he not be nervous? Meeting the people that made his favorite person._  
I’m only 19, and he already wanted to marry me.  
_“Chanhee… 19 is a little young to commit to something like this. Don’t you agree?”_  
Thank you for approving me...  
_“Yes, but…”_  
...Kang Chanhee...  
_“I know it’s the right choice.”_  
...the one who never really mattered.  
_“I know how I feel about him.”_  
Thank you for welcoming me into your family.  
_“Then…”_  
I’ll always be apart of it.  
_“Of course we approve.”_

To conclude, I know everyone is tired of my voice.  
_“You’re voice is so deep but, you’re so cute!”_  
He really was the kindest, huh.  
_“Of course I’d compliment you, Chanhee. It’s my only use.”_  
He proposed on my birthday, he always did something for my birthday.  
_“Birthdays are important, Chanhee! Spend the rest of yours with me…?”_  
I still wish I knew how he wanted to finish spending Valentine’s Day.  
_“I told you not to guess, you’ll wait and see!”_  
But, there are some things we will never know.  
_Chanhee did as told, and waited until what was offered to him. He trusted his fiancé that much._  
I guess that’s just how it’s supposed to be...  
_“I didn’t ask you to stop talking in general, Chanhee.”_  
...even if it’s not what we want.  
_“It’s a surprise… I hope you like it.”_

I’ll never know what else he wanted to do that day...  
_“Sorry… I’m just thinking is all.”_  
...nor do I know why he was taken on that day.  
_“What about?”_  
I…  
_“Hm… us.”_  
...miss him a lot.  
_“Us?”_  
I loved him, really.  
_“And… you.”_  
I want you all to know that.  
_“Whatever you’re thinking, you won’t have to worry.”_

_Because I’ll never leave you._

I guess I don’t really have much else to say.  
_“Chanhee, you are indeed a man of few words.”_  
Oh, um, I think I do.  
_“I’m surprised you noticed, no one else seems to.”_  
Every Valentine’s Day, I want you all to think of him, okay?  
_“Of course I do! I notice everything you do, I’m your best friend.”_  
Even just a small thought would do, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.  
_“I also… appreciate you. Always, no matter how little you may do certain things.”_

Thank you.  
_“Chanhee… you’ll always mean the world to me.”_  
Thank you to all of you.  
_“You know that… right?”_  
And especially, to the one I loved most.  
_“You know you’re my other half...”_  
Thank you.  
_“Of course… you’re my forever, okay?_ ”

_You are forever, always my forever._

Happy Valentine’s Day, Seokwoo.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, so I’ve had this idea and part of it written since last Valentine’s Day. I decided that I should actually and (finally) finish it with this year’s Valentine’s coming up. Also… I’m sorry. I promise not all my stories have bad endings or sad endings just… a good handful. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed, and if you have any tips or criticism, please tell me!


End file.
